Joanna Carr Diabe

Good Evening to all,This is a very interesting epistle. As a transparent woman, wife and mother, while some of the below listed are true about our men we need to examine the root-cause. I will list my response in numerical order and expand. I will come clean on both end. I am currently doing some research on the Liberian family in America with emphasis on Women. Once this is completed, I will be holding seminars to empower women and men.1. Men were never taught.Some of our men are depressed, hurting and lost. When we enter relationships, each of us bring our own prejudice and baggage from our upbringing.First of all, we must not neglect the acceptable way of life in Liberia. We have rewarded bad behavior so much that some women feel it is a normal think for a man to sleep around. Remember we all have weaknesses.Most of our Liberian men never had a father figure who set good morals for them to follow. Most of our men grew up in un-structured homes where they knew their dad's concubine and never saw their mothers complain. Most of our men never saw their father pray with the mothers in the home, most of the fathers never sat down with their children to teach them, look at home work or mentor and nurture them. Most of our men never saw their fathers give their mothers flowers. Most of our men witness their mothers with several different men in their lives. Most of our men were never complimented. Most of our men were never taught that sex is for married people only. Most of our men never saw their dad take them to the library. Our fathers did not know that speaking negatively about women in front of their sons were wrong, most of our fathers did not know that it was wrong to use profanity, drink acohol in front the children were wrong. Our men were never taught. Remember we all are at liberty to do what we feel best. Some men were taught but have made up their mind to go contrary to the teachings of their youth.Women:We were not taught to love, honor and respect our husbands. We were not taught that sex is for married people only. We were not taught that a man's pride is his wife. We were never taught that the man is the head of the household. We were never taught the basics of setting high standard for ourselves. We saw our mothers have extra marital affairs, we saw our mothers engaging in several relationships at the same time. Some of our mothers were never taught. Some of our mothers were taught but made these poor choices based on their conditionsNow Woman to WomanI study the Bible closely and will speak in this regard. Women we are highly favored. We are precious daughters. We are mothers. We the future builder. I will talk woman to woman. Some of us Liberian women, married or single have no regards, respect and integrity for themselves, bodies and who they sleep with lest alone for the examples we set for their daughters.Some of us women do not understand that a man does not have to be in love with you to have sex with you. Because some of us have low self esteem and do not honor our bodies we fall for the least I love you. Woman to Woman, we need to examine our lives and the things that are causing these men to walk through us.I will be frank with you, if you are a Christian woman who goes to a good church and compromise and have pre-marital sex, you are heading for trouble. Some of us dress indecently, we expose our bodies, we fall for everything. We must understand that a man sex drive is based on impulse. A man can have sex with you the today and ten minutes after that ignore you. We have to learn to say NO. We have to put a high value on ourselves. Because everybody is doing it does not mean it is right. As women of integrity, we must learn that a man's pride is his wife. As a married woman and a mother, no matter what a man does does to you, this does not give you the right to go and sell yourself cheap by engaging in extra marital affairs. There are consequences for all of our actions. Woman to Woman, once you let the guild down before the honorable way God has ordained it, you have sold your birth right and integrity. Because we were never taught, we all made one mistake or the other but now that we are learning the truth, we need to stand our ground and not compromise. If every woman can stand her ground and tell a man, I am not going to have sex with you until you marry me . We will see a change in our men. But since we are desparate, when one man leaves our sister, we jump there and say the worse thing about that sister forgetting to know that what goes around comes around. Women we have to be real. We all have had relationships where we were hurt one way or the other, now I find it surprising that we tend to forget and ignore the hurt we experienced in bad relationships and blame our sisters when a relationship goes wrong. People have split personalities. Some men and women will treat outsiders nicely and treat their spouses cruelly behind close doors. Woman to Woman we need to examine our lives and set high standards.Economics I am not justifying sexing out of wed lock. Due to financial hardships, we find ourselves sleeping around for survival. We all need survival and will do whatever we need to do survive. Remember God said He will never leave us nor forsake us.Children,If you a a single mother who have had children out of wedlock, do not be hard on yourself. We all have made mistakes and God has forgiven us. Children are blessings whether born in wedlock or not. Single mothers, you can be all that Christ wants to you to be to your children. Do not envy a two parent home. There are some men and women who are present but yet absent. Now that you have learned the truth, pray that God will help you set examples and pray that your children do not make the same mistakes you made.Back to Men,Men, there are consequences for all of your actions. You have daughters and mothers. Do unto your wife as you would have someone do unto your sisters, daughters and mothers. Have respect for yourselves. Have self control. Walk in integrity. Be men of valor. Surround yourselves with God fearing men who are committed to family, who hate adultery, surround yourselves with men who will encourage you to do the right thing that will bring Glory to God first. Surround yourselves with positive people who believe honor the institution of marriage and will frown on extra-marital affairs. Surround yourselves with men who take time to pray for their wives and children. Surround yourselves with men who will speak positively in your life who will tell you the truth in love. Do not surround or spend most of your time with underachievers and men with no values. No matter who you are bad communication corrupts good manner. Men if it means leaving the group to satisfy God and be all God has called you to be to society and your family. Make the sacrifice. Some men are like babies. They are most concern about what their friends will say about them rather than what God says about them. When you get in trouble do you call your friends name or do you call God's name? Men if you are in a church where you are not being taught the truth, you need to change your environment. If you are in a church where the truth it being taught and ignore to live by the principles of the Bible because you want to be accepted by your friends, you are heading for destruction. I have never seen anyone who disobey God prosper. ONE may think that you are prospering, but deep down inside, the hurt and mental torture is there. Men are you treating your wives the way you want your future son in law to treat your daughters? Women are we treating our husbands the way we want our future daughter in laws to treat our sons?We all are guilty one way or the other. We can all turn around and make a new start. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.People ask me why I am so involve and very religious. I tell them that my faithfulness to God is not only during poverty. America will never change me or make me compromise my faith to be accepted. I rather everyone hating me and have God like me. Because I know when God says yes, no man can say no. I remembered, I attended every Bible study, prayer meeting, fasting, vigil in Liberia after I became a Born Again. When I had nothing I was faithful to God. Now God has blessed me tremendously with His grace and all my needs, why should I stop doing what I used to do in poverty? God is not a seasonal God that we will only call on him in trouble. At times we wonder why things are not happening for us, why our children are acting up or why we keep going around and around in circles. We need to get real with ourselves, repent and ask God for help. It is not too late. Women you are precious, you are the apples of God's eyes. Men you are the torch bearers, you are the high priest. Do not neglect your roles or lower your standard for 10 minutes of pleasure. Women it is not acceptable to sleep with a man you are not married to neither to say to sleep with somebody husband. I know it is difficult, If I say that it is easy, I will be the greatest liar on earth. But remember that God will never leave you nor forsake you. God said that He will provide all your needs. The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. We all have made this mistake but you can start afresh. When you are in Christ you are a new creation, old things have passed away and behold all things have become new. We can all start today. God can help us if we ask him. Fathers maybe you have not been the man God has called you to be. It is never too late. God will meet you where you are if you submit and surrender all to him. Do not let your living be in vain, God can change things around. Nothing is impossible with God. We can all adjust a little to the expectations of this society so our homes, children, families and society can be a better place.May God help all of us in Jesus Name.Peace
Joanna Carr Diabe