My hats off to the lady in the pictures below, making him stand on the street with a sign that reads "I steal, I want to go to jail like my daddy". I love this woman, she is now my new best friend. I thought I was the only crazy one in this country punishing my kids the Liberian way. Keep up the good job dear.

These are some of the things I went through with my kids and this is how I handled the situations. For all you so-called perfect Liberian parents out there that thinks these acts are child abusing, good luck on raising your children in America!

Things I did to keep them straight:

1. Hitting your parents: When my oldest son was four years old going to preschool, he noticed some of his classmates (whites) hitting on their parents and the stupid parents took the hits and did nothing in return and give their children what they wanted. He thought he try it with me, well, the child behind is still hurting from the result. I caught his hand coming my way and beat that butt so well; he couldn’t wait to tell his younger brother “never try hitting mommy, the woman will do a Mike Tyson on you”.

2. The hanging pants: I hate to see boy’s pants hanging down their knees, they can’t even walk right. I told my boys this was not an option for them. Because I am one of those parents that show up unannounced at school whenever I feel like it, one day I did a “pop-up” visits as the schools call it. I got there right around lunch time only to see my son pants hanging to his knee; he would pulled them down when he left the house. I simply asked him for my pants, that right, it mind, I bought it. I feel if you want to show your underwear, while bother wearing pants. Spending the rest of the day in your boxer and having your friends teased you all day works wonders; their pants are always up and belted.

3. Ops, I forgot: This phase is a punishment to parents for having sex I think; it drives me so crazy I had to get even. Where is your book-bag, ops, I forgot, did you do the dishes, ops, I forgot and so on. One Saturday morning I decided its time to show these nuts what we parents go through, we switched rolls. They were the parents and I was the child. I drove them insane to the point they begged to switch back by 3pm. I forgot to do the dishes so they had to do it when we switched back. I forgot to clean my room, again same thing; I forgot to cook, so they had to cook or order in to feed me. I forgot everything that day, best day I ever had at home with my kids.

4. Making fun of others: We had a very over weight female neighbor living right across the ally way from us, my boys rooms were facing her room, why she kept her window curtain open I will never understand. Each morning when they were getting ready for school, they were always laughing, calling her all kinds of funny names. One day I decided to see what the fun was all about; they were taking bets and making fun of how long it will take for her to get her shoes on or how long it will take for her to put on her underwear. Well, I decided two can play this game, I marched their butts right over to her house and told her that my boys always saw her fighting to get her trash out and wanted to help her for a month; now what she didn’t know they also had to tell her how pretty she looks in whatever outfits she was wearing each morning on her way to her car for a month as well. Few weeks of their friends teasing them for been in love with a fat lady, the laughing stop.

5. Wasting food: My kids wasted food so much that I thought I should just dump the food into the trash as soon as I get them home and bypass their stomach, its going to end there anyway so why bother to cook it first. One day, I really needed to teach these yahoos a lesson. I called a friend of mind that I used to volunteer with at the food shelter on weekends and told her what I had in mind for my kids that Saturday. She did not want to do what I had planned but you know me, stubborn is my first name, she agreed and gives in. I told the kids we were eating out, they were so happy I heard them jumping up and down. From working at the food shelter, I knew around what time they ran out of food for the day, so I packed those yahoos in the car and headed for the shelter. I circled around few times pretending to be looking for a good parking space until I saw my friends signal, I told the kids to get out and get in line, they were shocked, why are we eating here? “Well sweetheart, since you all wasted most of the food before I can get my paycheck, we ran out of food and I am not getting pay until next Friday, so this will have to do”. Get in line; I will be there as soon as I park the car. I witness those sad faces coming back to the car; I asked what happened like I had no idea, “they ran out of food mom what are we going to do, one said; does that mean we are not eating” said the other, “I guess so honey, we can go home and cook us some noodles for lunch, ok?” They were quieted all the way home, NOT ME, I took this opportunity to remind them of all the times they wasted my food and if they didn’t we would have a house full of food to eat today; how those food could have been sent to Africa to feed the hungry children. These days they think, smell and taste before wasting anything.

Lying to your face: I handled this the same way the lady is handling her son for stealing; he had to wear a sign around his neck that read: “I am a liar, I liar to my parents each time I open my mouth”; parents remember to get the school permission first, it works.

Acting up in school: We all know what happen to you in Liberia if you do this? You come close to getting kill by the teachers and your parents and sometimes even the neighbors. In America, they call the parents. As for me, the schools don’t like calling me much, I can’t imaging why, maybe because I grade them as much as I grade my kids and I sent their grades to the county board quarterly meeting; the less call to Mrs. Williams the better for them they think. But when they do call, I usually showed up. I was called to the school one day because one of my nuts decided to give a girl a hug during lunch time. One of the County Schools policies is no touching each other on school grounds. I got to the office, saw my son sitting there smiling as if he was having a cigarette break, which usually change my mood towards the negative side. I got the full story and asked the principal can I borrowed one of his chairs, he told me he did not think that was a good idea, I promise him I will not hit him with it but needed it for me. I needed the chair because my son is over six feet tall and I am barely five feet, I stood in the chair for height, collared the mutt and had him repeat the school policy for all to hear over the intercom. He also had to apology to the girl for touching her even though he was trying to calm her down when he hugged her. My husband at that time thought I was too hard on him, saying he did the right thing, of course he did but my point was policy is policy, take her to the nurse or the office for help or do it off of school grounds.


Parents, parents, taking things away from kids these days do not work. All their friends have the same thing so you are wasting your time, get even! We need to help each other out with our children. I was blessed to have raised my two boys, two sisters, one brother, one of my friend’s son and now my daughter, this my people should explain my craziness but I can tell you Its hard work, you have to be just as crazy as they are to make it from day to day sometimes; I don’t beat much anymore because the kids are bigger and taller then I am and a lot of times I don’t have the energy but I do get even each and every time. Here are some rules to help you out:

1. Never promise your kids something and don’t follow through, if you promised to beat them do it, if you promise to take away things, do it, if you don’t keep your promise good or bad, they will play you like a piano and know you are not serious.

2. No matter how tired you are, don’t let them get away with anything even if you have to give them a promissory note for later; always try to be one step ahead of them, this is America, its takes less than 10 seconds for their lives to go from home to jail.

3. Division works, if you want to know the truth, split them up and ask the same questions but in a different way and catch the liar in the group.

4. Stick together as parents, when one says no, no should be it, do not go behind the other parent back and say yes, this will tell your kids you two have no ideas what you are doing and the two of you will be at it all the time.

5. Ask for advice, your parents, friends, people that have older children, church, school teachers someone will help you out, don’t do it on your own, you will died early and they will waste your hard earned insurance money.

6. Never lend your car to someone you give birth to, first they will not remember to put gas in, secondly, the seats will be put all the way back and the radio station in YOUR car will be changed. And don’t expect them to help you clean it without you telling them to.

7. If they turn you into a grandparent before they are old enough to have kids, hit them side the head each time the baby cries in your house, I do, and it’s a great stress reliever for me and I baby-sit on my terms, when I feel like it.

8. When their friends call or come knocking on your door and don’t say hello to you first, hang up the phone and/or slammed YOUR door in their friend’s faces, again, this is a good stress reliever for me and they usually get the message. If these behaviors continue, chastise your kids, after all, it’s their friends.

9. If they can not keep their room clean, or clean it when you tell them to, lock them out of it, it’s your house that means it your room that has your clothes and your toys in it. When they leave for college, turn it into a sewing room, you will love it and that will send a message to hurry up and get your own place. I love my sewing room.

10. If they decide to lock their room door to “your” house, you have two choices, take the door off or remove the lock completely; I usually remove the lock only because the door is too heavy for me to do along.

11. Go to their schools; find out what those yahoos are doing in there. Don’t argue with the teacher in front of the kids, they will play the two of you against each other.

12. Whatever curfew you set, keep it, don’t change it unless it’s very important towards YOUR benefit. Don’t stay out all night waiting for those yahoos to show up when they feel like it. To stop them from lying on when they came in, put a wind charm over your door. I love wind charms, had one at every home I have lived in. My kids think I collect wind charms for fun, ye right; as soon as the door’s open, you’ll know the mutt is in the house because wind charm will ring. Punish them for keeping you up all night.

13. If they threaten to call the cops on you, let them, do what I did recently with my daughter, beat them right before the cops and tell the cops why you are doing it, if they don’t agree with you, tell them to take the little monster with them and no they can not bring her back until she is 18 and out of high school; the cops usually thanked you and leave.

14. This is my favorite one. They don’t want to wear what you bought them because it’s not expensive enough, who money is it, mind or there’s? Besides, I think I should be paid for wearing designer clothing, why should I walk around wearing someone else’s name on my clothes? If you want to wear your name, let me know and I will sew it on your Wal-mart shirt for you, it’s that simple. You don’t want it, get a job and buy your own until then pick those lips off the floor and move on.

15. You don’t want to eat it because it smell or it taste weird or its too hot, who told these yahoos we are their personal chief anyway, like my grandparents used to say, “you don’t want it, you must not be hungry but until you eat what is in front of you, you eat nothing else”. Same way in my house; these days everybody knows how to cook and fix sandwiches in my home.

16. Don’t want to read daily? As if after high school they wouldn’t have to read any more. No reading no TV, no reading no outside, no reading no friends over or you leaving. Best way to get them to do their reading daily without going through wwIII with them, limit the TV channels to CNN and the weather, this works. The TV in our family room has only CNN and the weather channels. Also, hide the remote control, they are lazy people, they will not want to get up and change channels. If they told you they are done reading, go to the last two pages of the book and scan it and ask them few questions, if they can not answer it, give them another book to read, for me I usually find a bigger book then the one before. All the kids I brought up were or are on the honor roll at their schools because to me reading is the same as food, you need it to live in this world. I may not be the best at it, but I make sure they are.

We need to stick together as parents and keep our old fashion way of training alive. My kids can tell you about pumping tires, standing with one foot up, pinning the ground, you name it. When my family saw how I treated my kids, I got all kinds of remarks from them. One of them even told me she will never allow her son to visit me because he might have mental problem later on in life; well, that son is now in jail serving 7 to 15 years for armed robbery; my kids on the other hand know better then to call me from any jail. In fact they will tell you, they preferred the cops keep them then to call me!

To the lady in the picture below, if anyone give you a hard time, please let me handle them for you!

Everyone have a blessed day!

No name wrote

Roberta,I think you are generalizing. One has to treat the situation case by case. Take for instance in my own case, I divorced my wife couple of years ago. We were married for nearly 21 years..........with three beautiful kids. As soon as we arrived in the U.S., she changed completely to the extent that I cuaght her dating a cook at her job. She later confessed to the act. How can you date a cook when your husband (with an MBA in Finance) is doing almost everything for you.....brought her in this country, bought her a house, car, etc. She also invited someone whom she claimed was a relative to visit with us and then slept with him while I was at work and my kids were in school. My neighbor was soo disgusted when he saw them entering a motel near our house that he alerted me. Her mother whom I brought to take care of our last child.....was very disappointed and begged me to send her back home after living with me for 10 years. Today, I am happily married to a woman from Togo and I swear I will never again in life marry a Liberian woman. How can you defend this?

This is very personal to me.......therefore, do not mention on liserve. If you need more explanation, contact me...or will contact in due course.

James Wolo Wrote

Again, Many thanks. Do not give up. In fact, I will share your thoughts with our compatriots with the UN system in Liberia and other parts.
God Bless You.

00000000000000000000000000000
With Compliments
James Wolo
Head Media Monitoring and Development
Public Information Section
United Nations Mission in Liberia

Chorphie Charlie wrote

> >Are you indicating that there are FASLE Liberian men? So why disagree with > >what the woman had said. No wonder NGee alway say that our too much > >knowledge is what suffering us. What was there to argue? If a white man had > >made such assertion, you would be like: dammit! your na read the report > >about Liberian men?> >On the altar of Jehovah, I pledge undying resistance to tyranny> >

John Wensea Guewell wrote

Ms. Williams,

Maybe you do not need a MAN period. Maybe you need something else or you need something from space. The issues you wrote about, is the world's issues. It is not Liberian MEN'S issues alone. I have been living in this country (USA) for the last 27 years; and before that, I spent some times in Europe. Most of the allegation you raised against Liberian MEN, is happening all over the world. Do not make Liberian MEN your punching bag. Secondly, there are some great Liberian men. Do more fact finding; before you post another garbage about Liberian MEN or WOMEN.

Have a nice day,

John Wensea Guewell
CALIFORNIA

Thomas N Twalla Wrote

Why are you been so unfair, you forget to use the word some.Although some man do the things you listed on the other hand some Liberian showed their wife and children love and caring. Please try to balance your writting.

Francis Nyeekpee wrote

Ms. Williams,
Thanks again for sharing your true thoughts with us as Liberian men. Everything I read in your email is true and nothing but the true. As I told you yesterday, I am presently in Liberia, after spending 26 years in America, I do not see things like I did before leaving Liberia. I am not sure why our women take the things they take form us Liberian men. I get very upset when I see women being treated like second class citizens. Again, I say thanks a million for your information and I will try to pass them on to many people to read. Hope to get more from you.
God bless you,
Francis Nyeekpee

Hempstead Wrote

Wow, sister Roberta, you you hit a nerve! Find me a Liberian girl!

I am married to a non-Liberian, and I must say, I need my own. I am tired with the experience I wanted. I miss the Liberian woman! You know something though, when I was looking for one to marry, I found none. The ones I knew were loud, always drinking and smoking. And I hate to see a woman drink, not even one beer. I don't drink. I don't smoke. Okay, I know what you are thinking...No, I am not a muslim. I am a Catholic.

Chea Wrote

Oh, Roberta, I just visited your Blog.

Hey, sister, about your Things Liberian Men do..I think I am an exception. I don't do these things. I detest those who do. I think America changed my perspective. I have been here 28 years. I attended high school here and went as far as obtaining a master's degree from Colubia University Teachers College. Those who prey on little girls are a scum to our society, and I thank God for the leadership of Ellen. I think her leadership instills in our young girls a sense of themselves. Ellen's leadership instills a sense of worth in our young girls. Ellen's leadership is educating our young girls to ward off the advances of older men, especially our so-called minister/government officials who use their positions to mess up our little girls, leaving their wives at home and promising "roses" to the young ones. Mind you, these very people have thie own girl children who are as close in age as the ones they are fooling around with. It's sad, and I wish I was a rich man. If I were, I would have a scholarship foundation that would support many of our young girls in schools in Liberia. Well, I am trying to work on something like this.

Hey, my dear, keep on doing what you are doing. By the way, I let's talk via phone:

Chea

Bernard John wrote

Ms. RW,
>How come you are a single mother of 3? Did you come accross some of the
>SPERM donners? No wonder you are so mad with Liberian men. We will be
>good men as soon as you Liberian WOMEN stop playing yourselves, and
>thinking that you are playing us. RW, do not be a player hater, try and
>ghet with the game.
>
>TBC

Smalekebu wrote

It is unfair to indict Liberian men because of the negative experience you've had with the men you CHOSE. My guess is that the only men you find attractive have the personalities you described in your writing. Have you ever considered dating men of better qualities than the ones you have dated? There is good and bad characteristics in every man. It doesn't matter whether they're from Liberia or the Moon. If I may offer an advise, I suggest that you look for men whose personalities compliment yours. Remember, they don't have to be form Liberia. Good Luck in your search!!

piso Wrote

I'm right here my brother!!!!
I decided not speak in the place of RW and only deigned it necessary to respond to TBC by saying "whateveRrrrrrr" - but since you're asking, here goes:
It is sad (but at the same time very revealing) that some of you men are reading too, too much into this and have automatically blocked out that these are mere generalities, and, are making it personal to RW.
I'll be hopeful and use the word "granted" - so, yes, let's say, granted that this piece does not apply to every single LIB Man. Realistically speaking, I think RW's "tirade" comes not so much in the negative sense, as in a sense of throwing light on - and giving a voice to - issues that almost every single LIB female can empathize with, and not necessarily -ONLY- because they've experienced it first hand, but, because their mother, sister, daughter, girl-cousin, and/or female friends, have; and they'd had to be hand-holders in that process.
Does this mean that these traits are all singularly particular to men RW dated? Does it mean RW should come under a barrage of personal attacks? I say no.
Men like TBC, John Wensea Guewell [et al] who've responded to RW 's piece "in kind", just managed to show that RW's 27-Count negative characteristics of LIB Men, strongly resonates with them and that RW spoke true to [their] form! And so, like cornered animals, their instincts took over and they resorted to lashing out because -they've been pushed to the wall!
Remember an adage used regularly in LIB: "What makes a man SHAME, makes him VEX/MAD"?
Well, such is the situation here with your brothers who've managed to come on up in here and show their true colors, BJ;
Sadly, all they've actually managed to do, is, add the #s 28 & 29 of "Things Liberian Men do that are WRONG!!!"
So, at the risk of stealing RW's spotlight, AND in the hopes of not doing so, here goes:
#28. Liberian men will exhibit the highest level of immaturity once in a situation where they feel cornered.
#29: Liberian Men are quick to jump to conclusions and do not go into situations with OPENED EYES.
(RW - feel free to adapt these into the original 27 as, I, in this public manner, do give you the copyrights:):)
Now back to Mr.TBC (et al for that matter): So, contrary to what you thought - thereby propelling yourself into hastily jumping to the wrong conclusions (and, getting on the defensive so that, in the process, you've unwittingly set yourself up for a psycho analytic session), as with her piece on LIB Women, RW was generalizing as per our LIB way of life and, simply saying IT as IT is brotherman!
Therefore, TBC , YOU, MY FRIEND CAN'T STOP THE SHINING, so instead, take heed and try to learn to SHINE ur eyes my man, shine your eyes!!!!

Wc solomon Wrote

Dear Ms Williams

I am not Liberian but I welcome these remarks.

I really want to thank you for writing such a clear, direct and honest letter. This problem is not just a Liberian problem some of the same things occur in other cultures but I know Liberian men that have failed in some of the areas you have mentioned. This is a SIN PROBLEM.

I suspect that part of the reason for the judgement of God through the bloody civil war was the very matters you have raised. I am really saddened by the behavior I have observed and the information you have shared, I pray God's mercy on such men Liberian or not.

My question to you as a highly intelligent woman who has articulated this matter better than I have seen or heard, who are raising these men since their fathers have abandoned them? Is it not their mothers? Of course the fathers' examples are what the boys are following but what can mothers do to break this cycle and curse from off their sons since the fathers are not in the home enough? I really need your answers as I want to use your advice and wise counsel to help Liberian men and women in the future. By the way I think Liberian women are not just beautiful but intelligent, hardworking, reliable and thoughtful. They are not things but God's daughters and I have strongly rebuked any man who tried to use them, Pastors and all !!!

Honestly Seeking your advice to end this disaster!

ws

Robert Sesay wrote

Hey Roberta,

I received your email and i must say it's good. In fact, as a matter of fact, i'm currently producing my first movie. It's called MOMMY LOVES YOU... it's addresses pologamy, incest and immigration... could it matter if i got to know more about you? Pls?

Thanks anyway for your insight into Liberian men... But i must sday that why your piece try to generalizes Liberian men, it's not blancket... there are still few good ones (us lol) that have all the good characteristics of modern men...

Anyhow, talk to you soon... hope to hear from you...

Bye for now.

webward2004 wrote

Good points - just a few things though: You (or whoever put this together) sound like a victim of all these things. However, there are a few of us (Liberian men) out there who value, honor, and love our women and our family. Additionally, there are a few of us who understands that it is important to be honest. My point is - it is unfair to generalize. There may be exceptions.PSI would like to see the list of things Liberian Women do that are wrong as well.

Arthur Siaway Wrote

Amos, Your argument is quite sound. Perhaps RW has had experiences only with the type of Liberian men thatshe characterized in her posting. Also, you made an excellent point in your last paragraph; there are Liberian women who do even worse than what RW says about Liberian men. I hesitate to chip in here because I find most of RW's assertions to be counter-intellectual and non-research-based. RW will be pleasantly surprised, and she definitely will revise her views, if she does a careful and sound research on a large sample of Liberian men in the diaspora. Kudos to you!

Arthur Siaway

Joanna Carr Diabe

Good Evening to all,This is a very interesting epistle. As a transparent woman, wife and mother, while some of the below listed are true about our men we need to examine the root-cause. I will list my response in numerical order and expand. I will come clean on both end. I am currently doing some research on the Liberian family in America with emphasis on Women. Once this is completed, I will be holding seminars to empower women and men.1. Men were never taught.Some of our men are depressed, hurting and lost. When we enter relationships, each of us bring our own prejudice and baggage from our upbringing.First of all, we must not neglect the acceptable way of life in Liberia. We have rewarded bad behavior so much that some women feel it is a normal think for a man to sleep around. Remember we all have weaknesses.Most of our Liberian men never had a father figure who set good morals for them to follow. Most of our men grew up in un-structured homes where they knew their dad's concubine and never saw their mothers complain. Most of our men never saw their father pray with the mothers in the home, most of the fathers never sat down with their children to teach them, look at home work or mentor and nurture them. Most of our men never saw their fathers give their mothers flowers. Most of our men witness their mothers with several different men in their lives. Most of our men were never complimented. Most of our men were never taught that sex is for married people only. Most of our men never saw their dad take them to the library. Our fathers did not know that speaking negatively about women in front of their sons were wrong, most of our fathers did not know that it was wrong to use profanity, drink acohol in front the children were wrong. Our men were never taught. Remember we all are at liberty to do what we feel best. Some men were taught but have made up their mind to go contrary to the teachings of their youth.Women:We were not taught to love, honor and respect our husbands. We were not taught that sex is for married people only. We were not taught that a man's pride is his wife. We were never taught that the man is the head of the household. We were never taught the basics of setting high standard for ourselves. We saw our mothers have extra marital affairs, we saw our mothers engaging in several relationships at the same time. Some of our mothers were never taught. Some of our mothers were taught but made these poor choices based on their conditionsNow Woman to WomanI study the Bible closely and will speak in this regard. Women we are highly favored. We are precious daughters. We are mothers. We the future builder. I will talk woman to woman. Some of us Liberian women, married or single have no regards, respect and integrity for themselves, bodies and who they sleep with lest alone for the examples we set for their daughters.Some of us women do not understand that a man does not have to be in love with you to have sex with you. Because some of us have low self esteem and do not honor our bodies we fall for the least I love you. Woman to Woman, we need to examine our lives and the things that are causing these men to walk through us.I will be frank with you, if you are a Christian woman who goes to a good church and compromise and have pre-marital sex, you are heading for trouble. Some of us dress indecently, we expose our bodies, we fall for everything. We must understand that a man sex drive is based on impulse. A man can have sex with you the today and ten minutes after that ignore you. We have to learn to say NO. We have to put a high value on ourselves. Because everybody is doing it does not mean it is right. As women of integrity, we must learn that a man's pride is his wife. As a married woman and a mother, no matter what a man does does to you, this does not give you the right to go and sell yourself cheap by engaging in extra marital affairs. There are consequences for all of our actions. Woman to Woman, once you let the guild down before the honorable way God has ordained it, you have sold your birth right and integrity. Because we were never taught, we all made one mistake or the other but now that we are learning the truth, we need to stand our ground and not compromise. If every woman can stand her ground and tell a man, I am not going to have sex with you until you marry me . We will see a change in our men. But since we are desparate, when one man leaves our sister, we jump there and say the worse thing about that sister forgetting to know that what goes around comes around. Women we have to be real. We all have had relationships where we were hurt one way or the other, now I find it surprising that we tend to forget and ignore the hurt we experienced in bad relationships and blame our sisters when a relationship goes wrong. People have split personalities. Some men and women will treat outsiders nicely and treat their spouses cruelly behind close doors. Woman to Woman we need to examine our lives and set high standards.Economics I am not justifying sexing out of wed lock. Due to financial hardships, we find ourselves sleeping around for survival. We all need survival and will do whatever we need to do survive. Remember God said He will never leave us nor forsake us.Children,If you a a single mother who have had children out of wedlock, do not be hard on yourself. We all have made mistakes and God has forgiven us. Children are blessings whether born in wedlock or not. Single mothers, you can be all that Christ wants to you to be to your children. Do not envy a two parent home. There are some men and women who are present but yet absent. Now that you have learned the truth, pray that God will help you set examples and pray that your children do not make the same mistakes you made.Back to Men,Men, there are consequences for all of your actions. You have daughters and mothers. Do unto your wife as you would have someone do unto your sisters, daughters and mothers. Have respect for yourselves. Have self control. Walk in integrity. Be men of valor. Surround yourselves with God fearing men who are committed to family, who hate adultery, surround yourselves with men who will encourage you to do the right thing that will bring Glory to God first. Surround yourselves with positive people who believe honor the institution of marriage and will frown on extra-marital affairs. Surround yourselves with men who take time to pray for their wives and children. Surround yourselves with men who will speak positively in your life who will tell you the truth in love. Do not surround or spend most of your time with underachievers and men with no values. No matter who you are bad communication corrupts good manner. Men if it means leaving the group to satisfy God and be all God has called you to be to society and your family. Make the sacrifice. Some men are like babies. They are most concern about what their friends will say about them rather than what God says about them. When you get in trouble do you call your friends name or do you call God's name? Men if you are in a church where you are not being taught the truth, you need to change your environment. If you are in a church where the truth it being taught and ignore to live by the principles of the Bible because you want to be accepted by your friends, you are heading for destruction. I have never seen anyone who disobey God prosper. ONE may think that you are prospering, but deep down inside, the hurt and mental torture is there. Men are you treating your wives the way you want your future son in law to treat your daughters? Women are we treating our husbands the way we want our future daughter in laws to treat our sons?We all are guilty one way or the other. We can all turn around and make a new start. We can do all things through Christ who strengthens us.People ask me why I am so involve and very religious. I tell them that my faithfulness to God is not only during poverty. America will never change me or make me compromise my faith to be accepted. I rather everyone hating me and have God like me. Because I know when God says yes, no man can say no. I remembered, I attended every Bible study, prayer meeting, fasting, vigil in Liberia after I became a Born Again. When I had nothing I was faithful to God. Now God has blessed me tremendously with His grace and all my needs, why should I stop doing what I used to do in poverty? God is not a seasonal God that we will only call on him in trouble. At times we wonder why things are not happening for us, why our children are acting up or why we keep going around and around in circles. We need to get real with ourselves, repent and ask God for help. It is not too late. Women you are precious, you are the apples of God's eyes. Men you are the torch bearers, you are the high priest. Do not neglect your roles or lower your standard for 10 minutes of pleasure. Women it is not acceptable to sleep with a man you are not married to neither to say to sleep with somebody husband. I know it is difficult, If I say that it is easy, I will be the greatest liar on earth. But remember that God will never leave you nor forsake you. God said that He will provide all your needs. The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof. We all have made this mistake but you can start afresh. When you are in Christ you are a new creation, old things have passed away and behold all things have become new. We can all start today. God can help us if we ask him. Fathers maybe you have not been the man God has called you to be. It is never too late. God will meet you where you are if you submit and surrender all to him. Do not let your living be in vain, God can change things around. Nothing is impossible with God. We can all adjust a little to the expectations of this society so our homes, children, families and society can be a better place.May God help all of us in Jesus Name.Peace
Joanna Carr Diabe

Kili Nagbe Wrote

Roberta,
You apparently feel a sense of deep satisfaction in educating the world about the rot Liberian men are. Dr. Joseph Murphy, author of "The Power of Your Subconscious Mind," defines success as doing something you love doing best. So congratulations on your successful trail of public education.
I am wondering, though, how I got on your mailing list. Please save me a repeat of this mail and all others.

Chorphie Charlie wrote

You guys are simply using one of freudian defense mechanisim. Most of what the good lady had said about us are really TRUE. Except some of you were living or live among a different set of Liberian men from utopia. The way you guys are attacking this woman will compel some of us to furhter expose the social etiquette of Liberian men's woman lappa business. Then your wives, girlfriends, and lil things will put more pressure on. I am not a Hater. So PLAYERS, let the sleeping DOG sleep. Your STOP this mean attack on the lady. I am a Liberian man, and every GOBIO knows the lady is not lying.

Emmanuel George wrote

Hi Roberta,

I am very sorry that you have been treated like thisby Liberian men. Well, may be it is time to take a closer look at the Liberian community and the Liberian men around you. There is definitely someone that is different in tha crowd. do not rush you will definitely get one as soon as possible.
Trust in the Lord with all you heart and he will direct your path. Lean not on your own understanding.

God bless you my sister.

Emmanuel George

Nat Galarea Gbessagee wrote

Gentlemen,
What some of you guys are trying to deny? Why the personal attacks on Ms. Williams for writing what he has observed of Liberian men? Certainly, many of us might not be guilty of everything or guilty of anything on Ms. Williams' list, but can anyone of you gentlemen sincerely deny that you have never heard or seen people do some of the the things Ms. Williams has catalogued?
Indeed, gentlemen, we need to respect the opinions of our fellow men and women even where we disagreed with them. Ms. Williams didn't say that every Liberian man is guilty of the things he has listed, but generality is the best option in the kind of list Ms. Williams has produced since her interest might not be to point out specific instances in her own life or the lives of friends and relatives, but rather to bring to public attention that these kinds of behaviors exist among Liberian men, and that these behaviors are not helping to promote the kind of unity and family cohesion we all professed to want in Liberia. So what the personal insults gentlemen, when generality is the name of the game in everything that we do in this world.
For example, whenever we in Liberia make statements to the effect that the Americo-Liberians abused and marginalized the Natives for more than 100 years, we do not mean that every Americo-Liberian participated in such abuses, as evident by the roles of Albert Porte, G. Baccus Matthews, and Edwad Wilmot Blyden; when we say the Nimba people connived with Charles Taylor to destroy Liberia, we do not mean every Nimba person, as evident by the role of Kerper Dwanyan and others. Indeed, when we talked about the Krahn and Mandingos working as allies to prolong the civil war in Liberia, we do not mean every Krahn person or Mandingo person, as evident by theroles of by Sekou Damante and George Dweh. But all the statements and references to Americo-Liberians, Krahn people, Mandingo people, and Nimba people are true because scores of people from each of these ethnic groups did some of the things the groups were collectively accused of. Certainly, when we say the American people elected President Bush or the Liberian people elected President Sirleaf, we do not mean that every American or every Liberian voted for President Bush or President Sirleaf.
Indeed, in like manner as the examples in the last paragraph, Ms. Williams is right to use generalization to refer to the characteristics she has observed of Liberian men. In fact, Ms. Williams is a fair person because as a woman, she started with the characteristics of Liberian women first before venturing into the characteristics of Liberian men, so why the insults on her gentlemen? What did Ms. Williams do that is different from the generalizations many of us make everyday about Natives, Americo-Liberians, education, culture, Christianity, sports, development, and other local practices in Liberia? For instance, are we not generalizing when you we call fellow Liberians who can speak, read, and write in some of the local languages of Liberia "illiterates" because they didn't go to western schools? Are we not generalizing when we talk loosely about "qualification," "competence," and "leadership ability" of people in Liberia based on the notion that some of these people do not have college degree or have not worked in government before? So why and how come one of you have the audacity to state that "generalization is bad"? And you think you now know enough to abuse Ms. Williams for expressing her opinion about Liberian people? Can you gentlemen point to any of the characteristics of Liberian men as listed by Ms. Williams that you find to be untrue or you are still in denial? Moreover, can you explain what Liberian men mean by "every dirty water put off fire" if you think the characteristics Ms. Williams has listed are not true?
Look, gentlemen, this is a public forum for the frank exchange of idea and those of you who cannot accept to face the truth should simply hold your peace and refrain from insulting others for their ideas. After all, no one stopped you gentlemen from writing about the good characteristics of Liberian men, so why insult Ms. Williams for writing about the negative characteristics of Liberian men? In fact, I think many of you don't even bother to observe the pattern of writing of people on this listserv because you want to make judgments of others without the basic facts. For me, I have followed Ms. Williams' writing, and her strategy in this specific case has been to point out the negatives and positives of Liberian men and women. She first wrote about the negative characteristics of Liberian women, followed by the positive characteristics of Liberian women. Hence, I believe she is doing the same thing with respect to the negative and positive characteristics of Liberian men. So gentlemen, sit back and relax and listen to what Ms. Williams has to offer and stop your attacks on her!

Nat Galarea Gbessagee
11/17/07
P.S. I am a Liberian man and I agree with everything Ms. Williams said about Liberian men. Now, do I fit into every characteristic profile she has presented of Liberian men? NO. But I am guilty of some of the characteristics she has mentioned? Yes. And do I know some Liberian men who are guilty of almost every item on Ms. Williams' list? Yes. And so do all of you gentlemen!
Nat Galarea Gbessagee

Edman wrote

Okay Patrick,

So you believe that Roberta's claim is weak. However, you have not buttress your assertion with any positive attributes that have being displayed by us i.e "LIBERIAN MEN" toward our women. Lets take a hypothetical scenario...
How many times have we complimented our women for what they have done right instead of listing all that they failed to do?
How many times have we come home and find Palm butter or Tobor-Gee on the table to eat and yet, we have not surprise our women with say: SPA package or a dozen flowers to show our appreciation.
How often do we make our women feel beautiful, sexy and wanted?
How often do we take our women to places and Support them in whatsoever they dream of doing instead of trying to make them do what we thing is right for them?
Patrick, to be a leader requires the ability to listen. If one woman feel this way and had chosen to speak, there is a high probability that other women have similar feeling but do not have the courage to voice it in the public. I am not saying Roberta's claim is 100% an accurate description of every Liberian men. However, what this is saying to me is... there is a pattern, trend or habit that is breathing in our community that may transcend to the youth.

Lets not go into the issue of academic/academia to prove a point because you will have no support on that front. For your reference, please read the follow books by Dale Carnegie
"How to Win Friends and Influence People"
"How to Stop worrying and Start Living "
Let me leave you with this: The nourishment of an individual self-esteem is the most effective way to show appreciation.

NB: By nourishment, I do not mean flattery.

Ciao,
Edman

Nathaniel Logan wrote

Roberta,Are you married to a Liberian Man? Could you tell me what are some of the things Liberian women do right? Is jumping from bed to bed one of them? Or telling you that this man is my cousin but in fact she is sleeping with him. Roberta, please transform your energy into positive things and leave Liberian men alone.Nathaniel Logan

Blamo wrote

Hi Roberta:
I don't know you in person and i don't know how you got hold of my email address, however I write to express appreciation for this article "Things Liberian Men do that are WRONG!!!" Giving the article an objective scrunity and being a journalist i couldn't help to agree with most of what you enumerated as the WRONGS we Liberian men perpetrate.
I tell you what, I forwarded it to some colleagues of mine, hoping that it will really drive home the point, causing some about face turn on some of our attitudes towards our cherished Liberian women.
Have a nice day.
BLAMO

Amos Suah wrote

NGee,

Thanks for your support and defense of Roberta Williams. But while it is true that RW wrote her opinion, which she is entitled to, why does she think that these are unique of the Liberian men? That's the concern that I, like others who wrote, have. Arn't men of other nationalities found of doing these so-called WRONG things of RW? Mrs. Williams' count #4 talks about Liberian man of at least 30 years of age dating a 12-year old girl and being proud of it. What would she say about the Republican Presidential candidate who is 24 years older than his wife? Is he a Liberian? I am of the opinion that RW may be speaking from experience. But, is she really sure of her count #10 which talks about Liberian man leaving his wedded wife sleeping on the night of wedding to sleep with another woman he saw at the wedding?

Mrs. Williams is so cunny in her choice of words not to be caught. She states in count #23 that she is yet to see a Liberian man hugging and kissing or even holding his wife's hand in public, because he is so scared that another woman will see him. My dear, it is unfortunate that she is yet to those men, but they are out there.

From where I stand, Roberta's so-called WRONG doings of Liberian men are not unique of the Liberian men. They are also true of men of other nationalities.

In closing, gentlemen, read Roberta's article carefully, and where she has MAN, remove the word and replace it with the word WOMAN. About 99% of all those she enumerated to be wrong doings of Liberian men are also true of the women.

Thanks.

A. Tue Suah

A Tue Suah wrote

NGee,

Thanks for your support and defense of Roberta Williams. But while it is true that RW wrote her opinion, which she is entitled to, why does she think that these are unique of the Liberian men? That's the concern that I, like others who wrote, have. Arn't men of other nationalities found of doing these so-called WRONG things of RW? Mrs. Williams' count #4 talks about Liberian man of at least 30 years of age dating a 12-year old girl and being proud of it. What would she say about the Republican Presidential candidate who is 24 years older than his wife? Is he a Liberian? I am of the opinion that RW may be speaking from experience. But, is she really sure of her count #10 which talks about Liberian man leaving his wedded wife sleeping on the night of wedding to sleep with another woman he saw at the wedding?

Mrs. Williams is so cunny in her choice of words not to be caught. She states in count #23 that she is yet to see a Liberian man hugging and kissing or even holding his wife's hand in public, because he is so scared that another woman will see him. My dear, it is unfortunate that she is yet to those men, but they are out there.

From where I stand, Roberta's so-called WRONG doings of Liberian men are not unique of the Liberian men. They are also true of men of other nationalities.

In closing, gentlemen, read Roberta's article carefully, and where she has MAN, remove the word and replace it with the word WOMAN. About 99% of all those she enumerated to be wrong doings of Liberian men are also true of the women.

Thanks.

A. Tue Suah

Things Liberian Men do that are WRONG!!!

Things Liberian Men do that are WRONG!!!

1. A Liberian man will have five women he is dating and will still be out there trying to pick up another.

2. A Liberian man will date you and your close friends at the same time.

3. A Liberian married man will sleep with any and or all females in his home regardless of their ages.

4. A Liberian man over the age of 30 would date a 12 year girl and proudly introduce her as his “little play thing”.

5. A Liberian man will have no problem sleeping with his step daughters in the home.

6. A Liberian man will sleep with his best friend wife.

7. A Liberian man will say the worst thing about his close friend to get in his friend’s wife panties.

8. A Liberian man will know his wife is in the room but yet he will still try to pick up another woman.

9. A Liberian man will be dating/sleeping with you but will never admit or introduce you as his girlfriend or lover.

10. A Liberian man will leave his wife sleeping on their wedding night to sleep with a woman he met at his wedding.

11. A Liberian man will use these words or phrases to describe their women: Play thing; my little thing; my man I am trying to eat that thing; my side thing, etc.

12. A Liberian man will leave you and marry your friend but still expect you to continue sleeping with him of and on after his wedding.

13. A Liberian man will have a child with you; break up but think having a child together gives him a free “Cushy Coupon” with you for ever.

14. A Liberian man will leave his sick wife and children at home to be with another woman without guilt.

15. A Liberian man knows more about things going on in an organization than his home and family.

16. A Liberian man cannot tell you honestly how many children he has.

17. A Liberian man will never mentioned to you that he had kids during his teenage years. Only teenage girls have babies in Liberia.

18. A Liberian man will not pay any attention to other men children in his home or even when he is dating you. They don’t acknowledge them.

19. A Liberian man cannot tell you the last time he was in his kid’s school or saw their homework.

20. A Liberian man will come home midnights and expect his spouse to not have a problem with his behavior.

21. A Liberian man feels that his parents in his home are his wife’s responsibilities and not his.

22. A Liberian man thinks paying the bills is his sole responsibilities in his marriage and the wives should do the rest even if they are also helping with the bills.

23. I have yet to see a Liberian man hug and kiss or even hold his wife hands in public, they are so scared that another woman will see and not want them.

24. A Liberian man does not respect his Liberian women; they see them as second class citizen and thinks they are theirs to toyed with.

25. A Liberian man will treat his girlfriend better then he treats his wife.

26. A Liberian man will put a lots of time and work into gaining a position only for the BIG title, nothing gets done after he gets the job.

27. A Liberian man cannot tell you he has not slept with another woman since wedding; ladies, ask your spouse.

28. Liberian men will exhibit the highest level of immaturity once in a situation where they feel cornered.

29. Liberian Men are quick to jump to conclusions and do not go into situations with OPENED EYES.(RW - feel free to adapt these into the original 27 as, I, in this public manner, do give you the copyrights:):)

30. A Liberian man in his 40s will have a child by a 13 years old little girl and turn his back on her.

Liberian men, you really bring the term “DOGS” to life. How do you expect to live with us if you don’t even see us as humans? The word “thing” means: items. Stop seeing us as “needless things.

If you don’t have anything to add to our life, stay away from us.

Remember, 12am is another day, as far as we are concern if a man is not in his home by 11:59pm, he better be with his spouse or he spent the night out.

Tell your other women not to kiss your shirt collar this tell us she wants us to know you were with her. No, we don’t want to taste her private parts; chewing gums really does not solve the problem, we can still smell her. We don’t need her infections; keep it in your pants or wrap it up, wear a condom. I hear you’ll saying “it doesn’t feel the same when we use a condom”, hell, you don’t feel the same coming from another woman.

Stay away from another man’s wife; “why buy the cow when you can have the milk for free” should not be referred to women; this is very disrespectful; Liberian man does more damage to their spouse’s self esteem then anyone else. Liberian women are killing themselves and going crazy because of their Liberian men.

Stay away from females under the age of 21, they are called “jail bait”. If she is related to you in any way, sharp or form, her private parts should not be touch by you. If she is your daughters or step-daughters, be a father to her and not her boyfriend. Plugging “the cherry” does not make you a man; you are nothing but a coward with low self esteem and no gust to be with a real woman.

When was the last time a Liberian man took his wife out on a date, to the movies, etc.

Spend time with your children, the street was there before you were born it will be there after your death, spend time with your family. If the baby is crying at nights, get up and help; no you are not babysitting, you are taking care of your child.

We are not your maids; next time you are coming to America, bring your house maid with you or learn to pickup behind yourselves; helping to cook will not kill you either.

If the two of you went to church together when you were dating, don’t stop. Go to church, not for the woman, for yourself.

All you so-called Liberian pastors, God did not make you a pastor for you to get more sex in your life; He needs you to teach His people the word of God.

Big stomach is not sexy, find the nearest gym. Do not blame the beer; blame yourself for seeing a gym as a “scary place”.

Stop telling us you will marry us when you are promising this to others women. Work with one woman at a time and you just might enjoy your life. Dating multiple women will cause you an early death; we are burying you fasten and younger then we are marrying you.

Do not call home in the middle of the night and ask us to cook soup, we are not your 24-hour-diner, nor are we Burger King, you cannot have it your way.

Lies, lies, lies, is there a university Liberian men go to for a PhD in lying? It’s has to be one out there because you guys are expert on lying.

Paying child support is not supporting the woman, you are supporting your child; If you don't want to pay child support, wrap it up.

Do not put down your spouse’s ex, someone could be doing the same to you.

Keep your hands off your spouse; she got enough beating as a child in Liberia, she does not need anymore from you. You are not her father, stop bossing her around. You can not change her; she was what you left her best friend for remember? Live with it or move on.

Your parents are not her responsibilities, stay home and take care of your parents; if your spouse knows you are with another woman, she will mistreat your parents to get back at you. And the same goes for the children you brought with you from another relationship. Stay home .

Do not disrespect your friend’s wife when by sending her the “I want you signal" when you shake her hand. This is disrespectful especially when her spouse is standing right beside her.

If you are dating us, we should not be referred to as “your friend” we are your girlfriend or lover.

Do not call us at 2am asking can you come over for few minutes; take your horny self home.

If your wife is overweight and has stop taking care of herself, do not spend time chasing after the ones who are taking care of themselves; talk to your wife about her weight gain, maybe the two of you can go to the gym together. Sleeping outside your marriage will only make her gain more weight.

Jumping from homes to homes, apt, to apt, beds to beds only make you look old and less attractive; settle down. A man at age 30 or older should not still be "dating" he should be married with a home and a family. Settle down and stop the game playing, you will live longer.

A lot of Liberian men have three to six children by three to six women; how careless and childish can you be? Did you think you will not have to take care of these children? Who give you the right to destroy these women lives? Who told you they were free for all on the market stand? Stop having babies with your women if you have no plans on marrying her. Stop!!!!

Going to multiple events in one night does not make you a stud, it only say you are killing yourself slowly.

Arguing with a woman in public is a stupid move, you will pay for it for days to come. wait until you get home, trust me, you will pay less if you wait until you get home.

Never tell your wife her food is not good while you are eating, again another stupid move; wait until you are done eating and do it in the nicest way remember, the food is better in your stomach then on your stomach.

Women are not things, we are human being, and without us you wouldn’t be here, with us you will go far in life. Remember to love her, treat her with respect, take care of her, be her partner, best friends, cherish her; put her first in your life. Too many of you are dying along with ohly your children in the front seat of the church. And those “friend” you think love you, they will be the ones in the back of the church making sure you are dead while meeting their new man at your funeral.

Everyone have a blessed day!!

Thanks,

Roberta Williams

Things Liberian Women do that are right!!

Things Liberian Women do that are right!!

Now that we know about our negatives, let talk about our positives:
1। A Liberian woman will make sure there is a cooked meal in her home each and every day of the week.

2. A Liberian woman will keep her home clean at all times, not only when guests are coming.
3. A Liberian woman will looked her best no matter what her income level is.
4. A Liberian woman will quickly adjust to any surroundings.
5. A Liberian woman will love hard, give her man her all and sometimes never get anything in return and still love all over again.
6. A Liberian woman will work two to three jobs to make sure her kids are getting the best education possible even if she is not educated.
7. A Liberian woman will find a way to make a decent living no matter where on earth she lives, even if it means selling peanuts on the streets or frying fish in the hot sun to feed her family.
8. Liberian women are born with a business mindset and are very discipline people.
9. A Liberian woman is a God fearing Christian being and hardly ever will she be seen in church with pants on.
10. A Liberian woman will put her life on hold for her husband to get his on track.
11. Liberian women are multi-talented, most have at least three things they are very good at like, marketing, sewing, cooking, braiding, child care to name a few.
12. A Liberian woman will tolerate/overlook more abuses then any other women in the world why, because we were not taught to love ourselves, we were taught to love our men and care for our kids.
13. A Liberian woman is very good at sharing.
14. A Liberian woman will meet another Liberian woman on the street and greet her as if she has known her for years.
15. A Liberian woman will not get involve in business or politics to gain power but to actual do the job.
16. A Liberian woman can take her country from a devastating war into a peaceful place all want to run to and call home.
Ladies, ladies, we have talents; we have the fear of God in us; we have the business sense in us; why are we still living as a second class citizen? We need to put more time into ourselves. We need to stop waiting for our men who are working to gain powers and titles and lead ourselves to the promise land that God intended us to have. We need to stop tearing each other down, and put an end to the "crab" way of living and network with each other to help us succeed.
As little girls growing up in Liberia, we were never taught to love ourselves, they told us to LOVE him. They showed us how to love and cared for our children; we were taught to look the other way when our men wrong us; we are lovers and caregivers by nature, but somewhere in the mix, we forgot about the person standing in the mirror looking back at us.
We will take our kids to each and every doctor’s appointment but some of us can not tell the last time we were there to see about ourselves. We were the second class citizens in Liberia back in the days, we had no voice, we spoke of no pain, no sorrows; we did what we were told to do good or bad big or small all for the sake of one day a Liberian man would ask us to be his wife.
As wives, we do everything we were trained to do, except they forgot to teach us how to love ourselves as a person; they forgot to tell us we might not get love in return; they forgot to show us what an abusive husband might do to us. They also did not mentioned the price of motherhood; the price of divorced and that it is ok to leave when things are not working out. Our mothers forgot to show us signs to know when our little girls are also been abuse by our husbands. They did not teach us how to cope with the helplessness of knowing your child is been abuse and there is nothing you can do without losing it all. They forgot to tell us even as an adult, we might still be beaten, cursed at and even thrown in the streets.
How could they have forgotten to tell us how painful our "first time" would be or the wonderful feeling you feel when you are making love to someone you truly love. They only told us to "lie down and open your legs". Yep, that was the beginning and the end of our sex talk from most of our parents. Some will even tell you to close your eyes as if that supposed to make things better. They did not tell us that love making is a way of connecting two people as one and the feeling should bring great satisfaction.
They left out the part of motherhood that says when you are a mother that does not mean the child is yours forever that sometimes God wants His child back. They forgot to warn us of the pain of losing a child;
They did not share with us what problems money can bring in our marriage; they told us "the money you make is for you, the money he makes is for you" so sharing our monies is something new that we are learning to do।

THEY FORGOT TO TELL US THAT BEEN MARRIED MEANS WE SHOULD ALSO BE CARED फॉर

I firmly believe that not knowing all the right "facts of life" we should have known from our parents, made us to create all the wrong doings I spoke about last week.

Just my $.02 cents for the day!
Have a blessed week.

Thanks,

Roberta BurkeWilliams

Things Average Liberian Women Do Wrong

Someone asked me why you are not very close to your country women; you seem to be closer to the men than the women. Why are all your close sister-friends non-Liberians? I thought about that question and wonder why I isolate myself from my home-girls. I have met hundreds of them, ate with them, slept in the same bed with them; cook together, help with their children, I have even had many in my homes when times were bad on them, but the question still stand, why am I not very close to any beside family? So, I decided to do a little thinking and this is what I think is keeping me from getting too close to my Liberian women.

1. A Liberian woman will come into your home eats with you in the same bowl sometimes and at the same time she is trying to sleep with your husband.

2. A Liberian woman will compliment you on your outfits and as soon as your back is turn, they will talk about how bad you look in that outfit to someone else.

3. A Liberian woman will tell you “let me know if you need my help” don’t take it, because as soon as she helps you, you will be the talk of the town on how useless your life is without her help.

4. A Liberian woman will sleep with BEST friend’s husbands and sit at her table and tell her what a wonderful marriage she has.

5. A Liberian woman will attends her boyfriend’s wedding while he is marrying another woman and still continues to sleep with him after his wedding.

6. A Liberian woman will cook, clean, entertain a married man even though he is not doing anything for her and she is fully aware that he is married.

7. A Liberian woman will quicker pick up a married man than a single man because in the old days, they were the ones that could help us the most financially.

8. A Liberian woman will creates a lot of “you-say-I-say” in your home and stop speaking to you in YOUR home that she is living in for free.

9. A Liberian woman will tell everyone about what is going on in her personal relationship regardless of how personal the subject is.

10. A Liberian woman will “tell all” to the public after the relationship is over and not realized that making a man look bad is also a reflection on the type of man she dates.

11. A Liberian woman will not leave a man because he is sleeping around, but will leave him if he can not afford to impress her friends.

12. A Liberian woman will want to have a child for her new husband even if they both have been married and have lot of children already; somehow we feel if you married the man, you have to have a child for him.

13. A Liberian woman will borrow money from her friends and when it comes time to pay, she turns into the most hateful person you have ever met.

14. A Liberian woman will always want their men to “do it all” for them even if they are making more money then he is. They feel that if a man is dating them, he should pay for her trip to see him, buy all the dinners, movies tickets, etc because that is how we were train to think.

15. A Liberian woman will NOT treat another woman’s child as caring as she treats her own in her home.

Ladies, ladies, ladies, we need to change our mindset; this is not good, not good at all. We need to be able to rely on each other, help each other; teach each other and save each other from useless, countless mistakes. We need to love each other and stop the useless envies and jealousies we create among us. We need to look around us and learn from our other sisters around the world and make that connection with one another. We need to put ourselves first and not our men, they are taking care of themselves we need to do the same. The average Nigerian woman gets married and starts school; Liberian woman gets married and forget herself completely.

If the man is married leave him along and find your own man. If you are married and he has kids from a previous relationship, love them, after all, they are another woman children so that make them yours as well. In this world we live in, a ten years old female can give birth but that does not make her a mother. Love your step children as your own; the reward will be immeasurable in the end. If one of the children you have in your home is not yours by birth, love them anyway. I watch my aunt and uncle, the Carter in MI with the two little girls they have and I wish we could all love that way. They genuinely care about those girls and I love and respect them for it. Do not bad mouth your step children as soon as your phone rings; remember someone could be doing the same to your kids.

If you have parents-in-laws, remember they give birth to the person you are married to, mistreating them will cause problem between you and your spouse; learn from them, they are walking history books and they know your spouse better they you do, ask them questions, they too have been married and can share stories of things they went through during their life. And besides, they will not live forever so there is light at the end eventually.

Take care of yourself so that your husband find you as attractive as the day he married you, join a gym, read about world issues, learn about your husband’s career, take part in his organizational activities, go with him to events, the babies will not hate you in the morning. Do not hide behind the kids because it is easier then losing weight or cutting down on your food intake.

If a man left you for another woman do not get vex with the woman, do not call her and curse her out; do not show up at their new place ready to fight, it only make you look small and stupid to the other woman. Do not listen to any stories she may have about their past relationship, gather your own opinion about the man. Do not help your new man mistreat his old girlfriend; remember this could be you in the future. If they have children together, do not stop him from going to visit his kids; if you feel uncomfortable about him going there, go with him and be as friendly and on your best behavior as possible. Besides, the friendlier you are, the better she feels about her kids been around you.

Once in a while, take your spouse on a date, your treat, he will feel love and care for. Surprise him for lunch wearing only a coat, nothing else; ladies I have done this many times, it’s a wonderful feeling and he will never forget it. When you are at an event with your family, enjoy them, do not leave your children to run around loose and your husband to solve the entire political problem Liberia has; be with them. Keep your friends out of your marriage, they were standing BESIDE you when you got married not BETWEEN you two, keep it that way always. Do not dog your spouse to your friends when things are not good between the two of you; remember they do not get to kiss and make up like you and your spouse do, so they will still hold on to all the negatives you told them about your spouse.

A lot of Liberian woman tell me the size of their spouse’s penis and how good or bad he is in bed; STOP this childless behavior, this only makes it easier for your friends to chase your man if he is good in bed. If he is not good in bed, talk to him about it, the two of you can come up with ways to improve your sex life, going outside of your marriage will only make things worst.

Ladies, do not marry a man just because he ask you to, marry him because you really love him and he loves you and you two have good things in common and work well together.

Go on “girl’s night out” with your girl-crew, I do this at least twice a month with my girl-crew and it is sure a good stress reliever. Staying home cooking and cleaning and complaining about how he is not helping you around the house will only keep him out of the home longer.

Do not embarrass your spouse in public or in front of the kids, this will create hatred during your marriage and eventually he will not want to be around you in public or private. YOU ARE NOT HIS MOTHER, stop ordering him around and telling him what to do. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HIM, you met him that way, you married him that way live with it or move on. And remember, whatever he did before he met you is none of your business unless it is illegal.

My Liberian sisters, I love you all but we need to change so that we can have fulfilling marriages and friendships.

Just my $.02 cents for the day.