Someone asked me why you are not very close to your country women; you seem to be closer to the men than the women. Why are all your close sister-friends non-Liberians? I thought about that question and wonder why I isolate myself from my home-girls. I have met hundreds of them, ate with them, slept in the same bed with them; cook together, help with their children, I have even had many in my homes when times were bad on them, but the question still stand, why am I not very close to any beside family? So, I decided to do a little thinking and this is what I think is keeping me from getting too close to my Liberian women.
1. A Liberian woman will come into your home eats with you in the same bowl sometimes and at the same time she is trying to sleep with your husband.
2. A Liberian woman will compliment you on your outfits and as soon as your back is turn, they will talk about how bad you look in that outfit to someone else.
3. A Liberian woman will tell you “let me know if you need my help” don’t take it, because as soon as she helps you, you will be the talk of the town on how useless your life is without her help.
4. A Liberian woman will sleep with BEST friend’s husbands and sit at her table and tell her what a wonderful marriage she has.
5. A Liberian woman will attends her boyfriend’s wedding while he is marrying another woman and still continues to sleep with him after his wedding.
6. A Liberian woman will cook, clean, entertain a married man even though he is not doing anything for her and she is fully aware that he is married.
7. A Liberian woman will quicker pick up a married man than a single man because in the old days, they were the ones that could help us the most financially.
8. A Liberian woman will creates a lot of “you-say-I-say” in your home and stop speaking to you in YOUR home that she is living in for free.
9. A Liberian woman will tell everyone about what is going on in her personal relationship regardless of how personal the subject is.
10. A Liberian woman will “tell all” to the public after the relationship is over and not realized that making a man look bad is also a reflection on the type of man she dates.
11. A Liberian woman will not leave a man because he is sleeping around, but will leave him if he can not afford to impress her friends.
12. A Liberian woman will want to have a child for her new husband even if they both have been married and have lot of children already; somehow we feel if you married the man, you have to have a child for him.
13. A Liberian woman will borrow money from her friends and when it comes time to pay, she turns into the most hateful person you have ever met.
14. A Liberian woman will always want their men to “do it all” for them even if they are making more money then he is. They feel that if a man is dating them, he should pay for her trip to see him, buy all the dinners, movies tickets, etc because that is how we were train to think.
15. A Liberian woman will NOT treat another woman’s child as caring as she treats her own in her home.
Ladies, ladies, ladies, we need to change our mindset; this is not good, not good at all. We need to be able to rely on each other, help each other; teach each other and save each other from useless, countless mistakes. We need to love each other and stop the useless envies and jealousies we create among us. We need to look around us and learn from our other sisters around the world and make that connection with one another. We need to put ourselves first and not our men, they are taking care of themselves we need to do the same. The average Nigerian woman gets married and starts school; Liberian woman gets married and forget herself completely.
If the man is married leave him along and find your own man. If you are married and he has kids from a previous relationship, love them, after all, they are another woman children so that make them yours as well. In this world we live in, a ten years old female can give birth but that does not make her a mother. Love your step children as your own; the reward will be immeasurable in the end. If one of the children you have in your home is not yours by birth, love them anyway. I watch my aunt and uncle, the Carter in MI with the two little girls they have and I wish we could all love that way. They genuinely care about those girls and I love and respect them for it. Do not bad mouth your step children as soon as your phone rings; remember someone could be doing the same to your kids.
If you have parents-in-laws, remember they give birth to the person you are married to, mistreating them will cause problem between you and your spouse; learn from them, they are walking history books and they know your spouse better they you do, ask them questions, they too have been married and can share stories of things they went through during their life. And besides, they will not live forever so there is light at the end eventually.
Take care of yourself so that your husband find you as attractive as the day he married you, join a gym, read about world issues, learn about your husband’s career, take part in his organizational activities, go with him to events, the babies will not hate you in the morning. Do not hide behind the kids because it is easier then losing weight or cutting down on your food intake.
If a man left you for another woman do not get vex with the woman, do not call her and curse her out; do not show up at their new place ready to fight, it only make you look small and stupid to the other woman. Do not listen to any stories she may have about their past relationship, gather your own opinion about the man. Do not help your new man mistreat his old girlfriend; remember this could be you in the future. If they have children together, do not stop him from going to visit his kids; if you feel uncomfortable about him going there, go with him and be as friendly and on your best behavior as possible. Besides, the friendlier you are, the better she feels about her kids been around you.
Once in a while, take your spouse on a date, your treat, he will feel love and care for. Surprise him for lunch wearing only a coat, nothing else; ladies I have done this many times, it’s a wonderful feeling and he will never forget it. When you are at an event with your family, enjoy them, do not leave your children to run around loose and your husband to solve the entire political problem Liberia has; be with them. Keep your friends out of your marriage, they were standing BESIDE you when you got married not BETWEEN you two, keep it that way always. Do not dog your spouse to your friends when things are not good between the two of you; remember they do not get to kiss and make up like you and your spouse do, so they will still hold on to all the negatives you told them about your spouse.
A lot of Liberian woman tell me the size of their spouse’s penis and how good or bad he is in bed; STOP this childless behavior, this only makes it easier for your friends to chase your man if he is good in bed. If he is not good in bed, talk to him about it, the two of you can come up with ways to improve your sex life, going outside of your marriage will only make things worst.
Ladies, do not marry a man just because he ask you to, marry him because you really love him and he loves you and you two have good things in common and work well together.
Go on “girl’s night out” with your girl-crew, I do this at least twice a month with my girl-crew and it is sure a good stress reliever. Staying home cooking and cleaning and complaining about how he is not helping you around the house will only keep him out of the home longer.
Do not embarrass your spouse in public or in front of the kids, this will create hatred during your marriage and eventually he will not want to be around you in public or private. YOU ARE NOT HIS MOTHER, stop ordering him around and telling him what to do. YOU CAN NOT CHANGE HIM, you met him that way, you married him that way live with it or move on. And remember, whatever he did before he met you is none of your business unless it is illegal.
My Liberian sisters, I love you all but we need to change so that we can have fulfilling marriages and friendships.
Just my $.02 cents for the day.
Monday, November 12, 2007
Things Average Liberian Women Do Wrong
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3 comments:
just checking to see if this works
Wow, I don't know..but its irony. You not close to Liberian sisters but you know so much about them. So either you speaking from experience; describing yourself being a Liberian sister or you just describing the dirt some irresponsible women do. I don't its a Liberian women thing. These are stuff some women; watch Jersey Shore, House wife of Atlanta....etc. they do the same thing.
Your blog brings my beautiful, intelligent and one of the kind Liberian sister to public ridicule and you owe them a massive apology.
i am a liberian and everything you said here is true i realized this after i married a white guy and left liberia. i have been away for 9 years and believe me i see life in a whole different view that is when i knew that the culture in liberia and the way we were brought up and the beliefs is all corwrong WRONG! ITS TRUE THAT MEN WANTS TO BE PAMPERED Too they enjoy gifts as we do u hit the nail i dont even need to add more comments. i have changed my entire life i am very independent working hard mother an i do not need any man to survive i wish i could open a workshop to teach our young liberian girls how to love and take care of themselves this is one of my wildest dream when i hit the jackpot.the poverty in the country leads to ignorance and poverty.women live of off sex to survive and the younger ones dives right in.i have been down that road i grew up in Liberia and left at the age of 23 . thank God i left i have learned so much and no wi realize that life is more than what goes on in Liberia theres more to relationship. and i can relate to what you said all of my friends are white or different nationalities...th eliberian thing does not work for me sometimes i wonder if in the pastlife i was a different person from a different country hmmm i still love my country and i pray that someday our girls will be educated about all this .its not their fault its how we were brought up but its never too late to change.
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